What he told me in response undid every little bit of growth I had imagined in him.
He spewed the most hateful things I have ever heard him say about Mom in my entire life. I grew up with them throwing things at each other, threatening divorce, and Dad calling Mom crazy and ugly and fat and old and senile and a conspiracy theorist and everything else. I put up with Dad claiming Mom's cancer must have gone to her brain because she was insane not share the cat photos I sent her with him. He had no line with her reputation. Then, after I revealed how much it hurt my feelings, he said the worst things about her I had ever heard and wouldn't shut up.
All the people I insisted to that my dad was gentle and had changed. Sheesh, I look crazy foolish.
-My husband accused him of killing her, because the circumstances around her death are pretty inexcusable, if you really have to be honest about it. And Dad said she killed herself. Man, what a mess. Right in front of all of my noisy, gossipy neighbors. At least I didn't have to go to that stupid GriefShare class that week.
+My husband accused him of killing her, because the circumstances around her death are pretty inexcusable, if you really have to be honest about it. And Dad said she killed herself. Man, what a mess. Right in front of all of my nosy, gossipy neighbors. At least I didn't have to go to that stupid GriefShare class that week.
For real, right after that, I fell debilitatingly ill and was diagnosed with cancer 3 months later. I thought his words made me that sick. That was the last time I talked to him until he found out I had cancer, and I concealed that so hard until I was back home, knowing how he treated Mom in the hospital. It was probably a good idea because the moment I did tell him, he didn't stop yelling at me over the phone out of anger about it nor saying God was going to kill me soon until my husband, pastor, and friends encouraged me to set up boundaries.
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