2020 was a year of loss and difficult changes. I was largely unproductive in game development, web development, social media, and just about every aspect of my life. Most of a year passed without much to show for it. 2021 probably isn't going to be any better, but I will be. Now when I pray, "Father, thank you for this day," I won't take a normal, healthy day for granted and make the most of what I've been given.
Honestly, it's a special kind of prolonged suffering to be separated from people for a year. Going out is such a fantasy to me now, no matter how masked and socially distant. Simple grocery shopping has become an event that I celebrate with my cutest clothes and hair. I even started wearing makeup to make outings just that much more special. To learn fun colorful makeup, I started watching small beauty youtubers. For a such a frivolous topic, their videos incorporate a lot of self-reflection about the wastefulness of large collections. It got me thinking about the wastefulness of my 2020 and how I want to spend 2021.
panning makeup
Online beauty communities value the concept of panning. Against a consumer landscape of constant releases and rising quality of affordable drugstore + indie brands, it's aspirational to be content with what you already have. Panning means reaching the bottom packaging of a product, like this Instagram girl did. #projectpan and #panporn are full of well-loved makeup.
Panning is difficult. I used to wear a full face of makeup for work. Besides some complexion products, I had one lipstick, four eyeshadow singles, and one blush. Even after using an extremely minimal collection daily for two years, there were noticeable dips but no pans in my color cosmetics.
If you buy more than a palette or two, it's easy to buy more makeup than you could ever use in your life. Even worse, cream products dry up within a year or two. Panners find that excess wasteful, so they cut back on spending and intentionally enjoy their makeup to the fullest before it expires.
There's another angle to panning. Since so many releases are limited edition, there's a natural tendency to save your favorite makeup for special occasions. That's equally wasteful, since it's more likely to mold than empty. If it's your favorite, you should wear it every single day.
panning other areas of life
I guess the concept is obvious, but I find a lot of wisdom in that mindset. The concept can be applied anywhere - videogame backlogs, unread book collections, stocked up baking ingredients, unused art supplies, ignored MOOCs, forgotten exercise equipment, and hoarded assets and libraries. For each item in those areas, I could have been developing skills, gaining new perspectives, and having fun. Otherwise, it's just junk taking up space in my apartment and hard drive.
In 2021, even if I have to do it all alone at home, I'm going to be more intentional about enjoying my hobbies. I've already finished 2 books, sewn 4 face masks, started an art journal, and gotten further than ever in Planescape: Torment.