<p>Redesign time! Blessfrey.me is my personal website full of my own interests, art, and research, and it doesn't need to be any more than that. </p>
<p>Redesign time! Blessfrey.me is my personal website full of my favorite things, and it doesn't need to be anything more than that. Sporadic, authentic, and slightly unfocused content was always more compelling to me than professional, contractual, structured content. Why was I emulating influencers? </p>
<h2>Redefining the Goals </h2>
<p>College, social media, other people's blogs, everyone tells you to laser-focus on a niche, release updates at an algorithm-dictated frequency, and always work towards SEO optimization. When I do something, I try to do it right, but that is a silly amount of energy to put towards the content mix over actually enjoying programming and art. I don't have the same goals as these people with a full-time social media job, and I'm okay with that. </p>
<p>I also never looked up to any influencers, so it's not like that advice helps me emulate my role models. The bloggers and game devs I admired as a kid in the 90s-00s had inconsistent updates, wrote about whatever they felt like, and clearly worked more for their own pleasure than their target audience and "the algorithm." No refined professional touch, no politically correct tone, and no telling when updates would drop, but they had something the repetitive mills and the smaller content creators who emulate them don't. I can't even articulate what that something is, but I learned a lot more from those kinds of people. </p>
<p>I'm no entrepeneurial mommy blog influencer on the first page Google results, so I just shouldn't care about their process. Even if I was, it would still be important for me to have some cute little site on the side! Maybe it won't bring in $10K/month or clout, but there's still value to a dinky online portfolio. </p>
<p>College, social media, other people's blogs, and everyone's mom tells you to laser-focus on a niche, release updates at an algorithm-dictated frequency, and always tend the SEO garden. When I do something, I try to do it right. But does the content mix really deserve the time I could spend on programming, art, or studying? Without paying a social media team, marketing could easily eclipse the effort I spend on the thing I'm marketing! </p>
<p>I never expect this blog to be a full-time job, and I'm okay with that. </p>
<p>It's not like I look up to influencers, so it wouldn't even bring me the satisfaction of emulating my role models. The bloggers and game devs I admire from my childhood in the 90s-00s followed none of the conventional advice. There was no SEO, no politically correct tone, and no telling when updates would drop. But they had something the repetitive mills and their smaller content creators copycats don't. They were authentic to a fault, but I learned a lot more from them. </p>
<p>I'm no first page Google results mommy blog entrepeneur, so there's no reason to care about their process. Even if I was, it would still be important for me to have some cute little site to fiddle with on the side! Maybe it won't bring in $10K/month or clout, but I love my dinky online portfolio. </p>
<h3>Made for Me </h3>
<p>From this point forward(?), I'm going to update my diary whenever I feel like it instead of postponing and rearranging entries to meet a biweekly schedule and recommended content mix. </p>
<p>I'll worry more about blog-worthy topics than meeting the godot indiedev niche. And I'll share more of my work in general. I draw and write, but most of it stays locked up in a hard drive. Why not share? And even if no one ever cares but me, it's nice to look back on them in a curated little gallery. </p>
<p>Also, it's just convenient to host my OCs and art somewhere. <a href="https://toyhou.se/">Toyhou.se</a> and alternatives are popular for a reason, and, if I don't really care to participate in the community over there, a custom coded website is so much less clunky. </p>
<p>I'll use my diary for personal reflection and tracking my progress than meeting the godot indiedev niche. And I'll share more of my work in general. I draw and write, but most of it stays locked up in a hard drive. Why not share? And even if no one ever cares but me, it's nice to look back on them in a curated little gallery. </p>
<p>Also, it's just convenient to host my OCs and art somewhere. <a href="https://toyhou.se/">Toyhou.se</a> and alternatives are popular for a reason, but they are clunky compared to a custom job. They may offer a community, but it's one where I don't really fit in. </p>
<h3>Hosting My Study Wiki </h3>
<p>More than art, I'd like to have my research on here. I spend a lot of time studying and taking classes and have produced notes that, depending on the circumstances, are more valuable to me than Google. (Not that Google's that great of a resource anyway these days.) Other people ask to see my notes sometimes, too. I think they may be useful to others if I host an online copy instead of printing off a few pages and keeping the rest sealed away, only viewable through private software. So why not? </p>
<p>More than art, I'd like to have my research on here. I spend a lot of time studying and taking classes and have produced notes that, depending on the circumstances, are more valuable to me than Google. (Not that Google's that great of a resource anyway these days.) Other people ask to see my notes sometimes, too. For now, they are only viewable on my home server. If I want to share, I have to print them out. Moving them to Blessfrey's server would increase their accessibility to classmates and myself a hundred-fold. </p>
<p>Of course, this necessitates the next big tech upgrade: adding wiki software to Blessfrey.me. Once my husband's LazyWiki project is installed on the server, I can make a wiki with lazy linking, meaning all I need to do is write the articles and all the wiki links will be generated by the software as the page loads. Wikis with large communities may be able to insert individual links with more intentionality and at a step that saves on computing power, but lazy evaluation suits Blessfrey.me's needs perfectly. The only change is, I'd like the online copy to be read-only to prevent vandalism and people using my website to transmit illegal things. </p>
<p>I think the best way to use wikis would be to give each topic its own database. So one can hold my Bible, church history, and Bible scholar notes, then I'm sure I'll want a more technical one. But it may be cool to keep another as a worldbuilding bible or game manual or something. </p>
<p>When this functionality is added, the wikis will be kept on the <a href="/study">study</a> page. </p>
<p>When this functionality is added, the wikis will be kept on the <a href="https://wiki.blessfrey.me/view/Blessfrey">study</a> page. </p>
<h2>Reorganization</h2>
<p>Since Blessfrey.me is more general now, the hierarchy of the site will no longer revolve around the current game I'm working on. Instead, I break the navigation into diary, games, characters, art, study, and an about me page. </p>
<p>It's a new year! And the word of the year is hope. </p>
<p>It's a new year! Instead of resolutions, I prefer a single word to guide me. </p>
<h2>Word of the Year </h2>
<p>My church encourages its members to choose a guiding word each year. Where New Year's resolutions present a daunting starting line and perpetual possibility of failure, a single word is almost like a mantra to remind you to make good choices throughout your day. It's more freeform and unplanned, but I find this really works for me! </p>
<p>The attack for the weakness or misunderstanding to target for the year needs to be distilled down into a single word. I source the word organically from the words that repeat in my life and the Scripture that speaks to my goal. Then I not only have a word to guide my decisions, I have a concept to explore deeply over the year. </p>
<p>The attack for the weakness or misunderstanding to target for the year needs to be distilled down into a single word. I source the word organically from the words that repeat in my life and the Scripture that speaks to my goal. Then, I not only have a word to guide my decisions but also a concept to explore deeply over the year. </p>
<h2>Fool</h2>
<p>Last year's word was fool. There are so many times I have been nudged to do something good for another but refused because "they'll think I'm crazy," "it won't do any good," "I'm too embarrassed," "surely the Holy Spirit isn't nudging me right now," and all the other classic excuses. I always knew it was bad, but I couldn't overcome my passiveness. </p>
<p>Then I saw a Youtube commenter on some praise song somewhere saying he wanted to be a "crash test dummy" for the Lord. </p>
<p>That was the energy I needed! I would rather be reckless and do everything I can for God and make some mistakes in the process than sit on the sidelines! I prayed for it. And sure enough, I found my ability to obey grew every month. :)</p>
<p>That was the energy I needed! I would rather be reckless and do everything I can for God, making some mistakes in the process, than sit on the sidelines! I prayed for it, and sure enough, my ability to obey grew every month. :)</p>
<p>I ultimately chose the word fool over any alternative. It kept sticking out to me when used in Scripture, particularly when Paul says to be a fool for Christ or even boasts as a fool (2 Corinthians 11). Fool gave me the direction to delve into these chapters and better understand the role suffering played in Paul's life. (Who knew suffering would be so relevant that November, when I get a critical medical diagnosis?) </p>
<p>Having "fool" as a mantra was more inspiring than "Say yes to God more, and do more good works." If it had been a resolution, it wouldn't have been as constant in my mind. </p>
@ -25,11 +25,11 @@
<h2>Fear of Positivity</h2>
<p>I'm not really the kind of person to hope for a brighter future or to dream of a good outcome to my current situation. I would prefer good things, sure, but I often feel like looking towards a bright future is a passive waste of time and will make any setbacks that much more disappointing. It's best to see how things are progressing and adapt, steeling my emotions as I go. After all, we aren't guaranteed a happy and easy time while on earth. In fact, we are called to suffer with Christ. </p>
<p>Obviously hope is not placed in earthly things anyway, no matter how precious they may seem. Our bodies can fail. Instead, we hope to be forever before our Savior, for our linen wedding dresses to have been washed spotless white in the Lamb's blood, and for us to reside in the New Heavens and New Earth forever. These outcomes are promised, so hope in them is assured, suffering or not. </p>
<p>I do hope in these things, but maybe I have more room to grow in my hope? There's always a gray tinge under these cloudy words, since there is room to believe that goodness is withheld until after death. It's a shallow concerned in light of an eternity without tears, death, mourning, crying, or pain, but an assumption of a life of suffering weighs down my heart. </p>
<p>God is a good God, though. David was so confident in the goodness of the Lord, forever declaring the Lord would restore loss multiple times over and that He would show His goodness in the land of the living. It's a constant pattern in Scripture: God may burden or even curse, but He will immediately follow up with protection, blessing, and a message of hope. We have hope on Earth, too, even if it pales in comparison to our hope in Heaven. </p>
<p>I do hope in these things, but maybe I have more room to grow in my hope? There's always a gray tinge under these cloudy words, since it is easy to believe that goodness is withheld until after death. It's a shallow concern in light of an eternity without tears, death, mourning, crying, or pain, but an assumption of a life of suffering weighs down my heart. </p>
<p>God is a good God, though. David was so confident in the goodness of the Lord, forever declaring the Lord would restore loss multiple times over and that He would show His goodness in the land of the living. It's a constant pattern in Scripture: God may burden or even curse, but He will immediately follow up with protection, blessing, and a message of hope. I believe we have hope on Earth, too, even if it pales in comparison to our hope in Heaven. </p>
<h2>You Try </h2>
<p>Anyway, if you haven't thought of your word of the year, start thinking. :) It's more fun than resolutions. I hope you have a year of miracles and family healing! Thanks for reading. </p>
<p>Anyway, if you haven't thought of your word of the year, start thinking. :) It's more fun than resolutions. I hope you have a year of miracles and family healing! I hope the same for myself. Thanks for reading. </p>
Mimi Momo
9 months ago