<p>As a takeaway, make sure you read and read and re-read your Bible and never tacitly accept the words of a preacher or Sunday School teacher or parent. Even if they seem like good Christians, getting the Cliff Notes from sermons and church friends is no replacement for a personal knowledge of Scripture. You just can't trust the church. Even if they mean well, they get it wrong sometimes. And besides, it's such a flimsy way to live. Christian stuff or not, always do your research by going to the source. </p>
<p>Some people don't even mean well, though. I don't really know how to deal with those sorts of people. I really don't. It just seems like so many from the older generations from my childhood think it's okay to candidly talk about weird fetishes and porn and sexual thoughts to children, and it seems like the other older people see nothing wrong with that activity, even if they don't treat kids that way themselves. </p>
<p>Then on the other hand, I don't know anyone my age who would ever treat kids that way. Everyone either hates kids and would never be anywhere near them to begin with (lol) or has a healthy respect for nurturing and teaching kids in the community. I just have never been a part of any conversation wheere someone my age was getting any kind of sexual gratification from a child. I don't even know how I would react, honestly, because I've just never seen that happen since I moved out of my parents' house. Even my new friends' parents don't act that way around teenagers. </p>
<p>Hopefully it's just a generational thing, or maybe now that I'm an adult, I choose healthier communities. It's not like I'm 100% free from the creepy adults from my childhood, though. To break the cycle, if I were to have kids, would I have to completely deny them any chance of knowing their grandparents or old family friends? Would I have to monitor every second of interaction to ensure nothing inappropriate happens? It seems really harsh and cruel and damaging in its own way to demonstrate a severe lack of trust in family or to even deny contact to extended family members, but I really don't trust them not to inappropriately touch my children. I don't want any kid to relive my confusion. It's just hard. I don't know how better to resolve it than to just acknowledge how messy and unfortunate it is. Regardless, I don't have kids right now, so I don't need an answer right now. If I ever do, I have the Bible and a lot of great child-respecting mentors in my life to help navigate the issue. </p>
<p>Hopefully it's just a generational thing, or maybe now that I'm an adult, I choose healthier communities. It's not like I'm 100% free from the creepy adults from my childhood, though. <p>
<p>These people still work with kids at Sunday School at my old church. Should I tell their new pastor? It's the kind of thing that ruin people's lives, but it's also the kind of thing that can really scar kids. I hope they still don't act that way, but do people really ever change? What do I do? Especially if they really did change without my knowledge, it's not like they shouldn't deserve forgiveness. But professional forgiveness would be up to the preacher or children's minister or whoever, especially when vulnerable people like children are involved. I just don't know...It's so awkward and awful. And honestly, over a decade later, kind of random. </p>
<p>If I were to have kids, would I have to completely deny them any chance of knowing their grandparents or old family friends? Would I have to monitor every second of interaction to ensure nothing inappropriate happens? It seems really harsh and cruel and damaging in its own way to demonstrate a severe lack of trust in family or to even deny contact to extended family members, but I really don't trust them not to inappropriately touch my children. I don't want any kid to relive my confusion. </p>
<p>It's just hard. I don't know how better to resolve it than to just acknowledge how messy and unfortunate it is. </p>
<p>Anyway, forgive me for being TMI, but thanks for reading. </p>
<p>I was totally walled off from him the moment that yard fight ended, and I think that's a healthy thing for now. There was never anything I could do for my dad. Every encouragement I gave him to turn his problems over to the Lord soured him. Every father-daughter moment I tried to orchestrate ended in danger or abuse. Every positive tinge of hope I got from his words and behavior were false. The only thing I can do for him is pray, and I can do that from a very, very far distance just as effectively as I can at his GriefShare lesson. </p>
<h2>Can he change? </h2>
<p>I've heard lots of stories that go either way. Saul certainly never changed. The Apostle Paul certainly changed. My associate pastor and my friend's dads both unexpectedly came to the Lord later in life. But no one can take credit for these changes. My pastor gave a sermon where
<p>I've heard lots of stories that go either way. Saul certainly never changed. The Apostle Paul certainly changed. My associate pastor and my friend's dads both unexpectedly came to the Lord later in life. But no one can take credit for these changes. My friends prayed and waited without forcing anything, and I have a lot to learn from them. It seems like a murky future, though. Saul was so deeply steeped in the Lord, prophesying in His name, serving as the head of Israel, and hanging out with the first prophet to emerge after a long period of silence. Yet, he was stony. But Paul, so thoroughly steeled against Christianity, who could foresee his mission to the Gentiles? My friends had similarly hardened parents. And some ultimately changed, while others never did. What makes the difference? </p>
<p>My pastor gave a sermon last week about spiritual blindness. How can you be a deacon, a Sunday School teacher, and generally respected, yet be utterly out of your element when talking about trusting in God? You can be spiritually blind if you are unable or unwilling to perceive and understand spiritual truths. It happens whenever you lose sight of God's presence, commands, and promises. This can be caused by disobedience and sin, which hardens your heart. It can also be caused by worldliness and materialism, a lack of spiritual discernment, becoming prideful or overly religious, and false teachings. </p>
<p>In particular, he talked about those who become dull of hearing. Those who ought to be teachers by now, but they still need to be taught the basic principles of the oracles of God. (Hebrews 5:11-14) You need to be skilled in the word of righteousness, continuously praying and reading the Bible. I think if Dad does those things, he will be less stony and more peaceful. I think if he pursues worldliness and materialism and leaves sins unaddressed, he will find no refuge in random prayers and verses. Maybe it's that simple? </p>
<p>May the Spirit draw on him, and may he recognize his need for a Savior. Regardless, I think my work is done besides praying and continuing to pursue God in my own life in the meager, insufficient way I can. </p>
grid
6 months ago