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chimchooree
10 months ago
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<h1>track my miracles </h1>
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#personal #health #christian<br>
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<p>God is with me. </p>
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<h2>God's perfect timing </h2>
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<p>Since cancer and medical stuff is my specific phobia, I don't want to know all the details of my cancer. I want to understand enough to cooperate with my treatment, but if I knew the stage and all the little details, paranoia and doomscrolling would set in. Frankly, it doesn't really matter to me anyway. It's in God's hands, and He has dissolved massive tumors and He has taken people home during routine procedures. Just as with Job, if even Satan himself is attacking my body, God has set His hand where no threat can pass. If that is my life, praise God, but if that is my soul, I trust His wisdom and will praise Him all my days. If that is not true, Father, please search my heart and change it. </p>
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<p><em>Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “Skin for skin! All that a man has he will give for his life. But stretch out your hand and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.” And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your hand; only spare his life.” - Job 2:4-6</em> </p>
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<p>I'm not entirely naive, though. If I have colon cancer and it has spread to glands on my liver and a few other places in my belly, that is bad. I had plenty of opportunities to catch it earlier, too. When I visited a cancer clinic for voluntary screening after Mom's cancer, they turned me away because I was too young. All the times I felt pretty sick or had a severe cough or had a severe pain in my liver, I could have gone to the doctor instead of minimizing my illness compared to my husband's problems. </p>
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<p>There was always an excuse, though. A year ago, my mom passed away, so it's just grief! Then three months ago, my dad put me under tremendous stress, so that's why I was so tired and disinterested in any activities! After all this bad timing, I finally caught it three months after I was reaching my lowest point and a year after I started feeling a little down. My husband had reached his limit of seeing me sick and ordered me to the doctor right away, and I was diagnosed within days. </p>
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<h2>God provided the right doctors and nurses </h2>
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<p>I was diagnosed in the hospital and was kind of subjected to whatever doctor or nurse was in and whatever test was ordered. Admission time is an RNG roll, and I feel like I received the best. I came to the ER doctor for fluid in my lungs, when I barely had any in the first place. He could have sent me home with antibiotics, but he diligently followed my unusual symptoms until he found the cancer. Bless him richly. He is a good doctor. I was quickly matched with an oncologist and a surgeon, both would prove later to be just as excellent. </p>
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<p>Then all my nurses were like friends. I think nurses deal with difficult people (they are hurt and sick, after all), so not only should nurses be encouraging to their patients but patients should be a little bit extra encouraging to their nurses. My nurses were easy to love, and I was able to share a little Scripture and a little prayer. God gave me the boost of peace that glowed in the room. One night-shift nurse commented on how I slept with a glow-in-the-dark smile. Another gave me a small gift for praying for her on a particularly busy day. Everyone commented on how peaceful the room was. I think God was working there, and all I had to do was pray for my daily strength and praise Him. </p>
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<h2>God provides for my husband </h2>
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<p>I believe He has prepared the way for my husband and me. His vantage point is unfathomably vast, but I can see enough to know that we would have been at a disadvantage if the cancer clinic had diagnosed me back in January. </p>
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<p>My husband is my protector. When I am in danger, he swoops in and saves me or gives me the way out. He also loves me and cares for me with all of his heart. This is true to the point I wonder if it's harder on him to see me with cancer than to go through it himself. He was by my side the entire time in the hospital, sleeping in his jeans in folding chairs, and he has been by my side ceaselessly since I've come home. This is impossible for someone to do while maintaining a job, yet God has worked it all out. </p>
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<p>I am a star in his office. I don't work there, and I have no reason to really interact with his coworkers, but I had that bizarre Esther-level favor with them immediately the first time I met them. They were having an informal meeting at a bar. My husband and I don't usually hang out with them, but we decided to since the CEO was in town. They all loved talking to me and were unironically trying to invent a position in the company for me at once. My husband even says they started bringing my "charm" up in meetings. I accompanied my husband to company expos and conferences, and they let me help present their products at their booths. Then when the office Christmas party came, they were more enthusiastic about inviting me than my husband! It's not normal, but that's how favor looked in the book of Esther when God was placing her where she was needed - and my husband needed his coworkers' support. </p>
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<p>When I got the diagnosis, they showered me with love, with offers to pick up things to bring to the hospital, and with flowers and really cool gifts. Even more, they showered my husband with advice on how to approach our insurance and have given him leave to work from home as much as he needs. They are like a family, and I am so surprised and grateful for their kindness. But they very well may not have been so supportive if God hadn't been setting this up all year! Praise God's timing. </p>
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<p>As a longer-term complementary miracle, how amazing a husband I have. He picked me out of a crowd, so thank God he chose me. God gave me a perfect husband to rely on and be loved by. Praise God for him. </p>
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<h2>God sent helpers for my husband </h2>
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<p>I did not want to be alone in the hospital for one minute. If a doctor came in, I wanted a second ear. If I needed something, I didn't want to rely on overworked nurses. My husband was ready to sacrifice his energy like that, but it's a totally unreasonable expectation for one person. However, God has been working in the background for years to send us family to support us. Usually, my father-in-law lacks seniority to get Christmas and New Year's off, so we celebrate on another day or without him. Traveling from their state to ours is out of the question. This was the year he finally got them off, and they planned on visiting us during the holidays instead of the other way around. (Of course, they only tell us things last-minute, so we had no idea all year.) So, right as my husband needs them, they have all the time off they want and can sit with me or run errands and give my husband much needed relief. Even though they came expecting to relax for Christmas, they were beyond helpful both when dealing with doctors and managing my neglected housechores - like they were my own parents. I felt a little bad for being so boring, but they got to explore my city on their own and have fun anyway, so it worked out. Praise God. </p>
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<h2>God answered prayer </h2>
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<p>After the diagnosis, all my doctors were deliberating the proper treatment. My oncologist was out, so her partner came in with an unoptimistic presentation of treatments. My surgeon was visibly downcast, essentially telling me that my scans resembled someone who is inoperable and even if he could operate, the recovery would take dangerously long. There was no way forward. However, my God is a Way Maker, so I had to go to Him. I prayed with my husband. I called the pastor in to pray. I called my two best friends in to pray. We prayed for a way forward. Then, in the morning, my oncologist came in with confidence, saying we would begin Folfox promptly. I had no side effects, and in fact, all my superficial cancer symptoms disappeared immediately with the first treatment - no fever, no fatigue, no night sweats. My tumor pains even are far less frequent and nowhere near as painful. Even my nocturia decreased a lot after 3 treatments. It's like I get the chemo glow. I blossom with every treatment. Praise God for His grace. </p>
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<h2>God said no to my prayer </h2>
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<p>I had blockage in my colon but didn't know it. Every day, I was in immense pain and very swollen, but my mother-in-law and husband would try to force me to eat. They would call my oncologist team, but they would only suggest Miralax and stool softener, saying swelling in the abdomen is normal after chemo. This wasn't normal, though. I sounded like a fish tank with all the liquid and gas trapped in my colon. The most they suggested was an ultrasound to detect if it was water and a way to remove the excess water. Of course I prayed that it was water and that the doctors would give relief right there, but the procedure found nothing of the sort. In retrospect, this was the better outcome. Water can be removed, but it would have come back and had to be removed periodically. Also, it's a cancer symptom, and I want less cancer symptoms, not more! Praise God for saying no and giving something better. </p>
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<p>My mother-in-law kept calling and tried contacting other oncologists she knew, but my husband decided in a snap to take me to the ER. My surgeon rushed down to meet me, and he said my colon could have ruptured. The surgery he originally said was impossible was now necessary. Honestly, this was a life-or-death situation. He started with a NG tube, but the ER nurses were out of their element with it. They couldn't find a tube small enough for me, so they were setting to sedate me and force it down. My surgeon stepped in and transferred me to the surgery ward where the nurses routinely practice GN tube insertion on each other. My nurses did it perfectly - I got a tube in my size and was instructed every step of the way. I have always had a phobia of tubes being inserted down my throat, but the Lord makes everything easy. Every few hours, I needed some berry-flavored throat numbing spray, but the tube was in and already relieving pressure. Praise God. </p>
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<p>The surgery itself turned out to not only be possible, but I recovered in superhuman time. It takes time for the colon to function normally again, but it was fine right away. I was back on a normal diet in 3 days when recovery should take weeks. God worked an undeniable miracle, and my surgeon was nothing but smiles after having been so gloomy. Hallelujah. I didn't want the surgery at all, but before, I was on a low-roughage diet that cuts out all the joy (no quinoa, no strawberries...), and now I can eat with freedom. Moreso, He saved my life. God doesn't give me what I want, but He gives me good things. Praise Him. </p>
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<h2>a thousand little miracles </h2>
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<p>My pastor told me to write all my miracles down, but I'm tired and will continue later. :) Thanks for reading, and please thank God for all His faithfulness and lovingkindness. </p>
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Last updated January 1, 2024. <br>
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